Tired of Lonely

another night. honestly, i never expected to be 26 and still be a chronically single mess. and ESPECIALLY not a single parent. i'm lonely and i'm pissed about it. i was doing just fine, until this dude i knew from way back when decided he wanted to come around and start seeing me all the time, calling all the time, and put me back in that state of mind. all i can do is pray that God will put me back in my happy to be single mindset soon. i have a new job, and im seeing that its gonna be one of those jobs where you HAVE to focus and be involved, so thats good, because then i will have something to focus on for 8 hours. i'm not really trying to be sitting at home wishing i had someone here. cuz honestly, its awesome being single. spouses can work your entire last nerve, and its a lot of stress, but i guess it would be nice to have SOMEONE sometimes. i just dont like feeling like someone is playing with my emotions. i mean hell, in school dudes were QUICK to say, look i dont like you like that, and then i could sweep my lil feelings up and keep it moving on to the next. this ambiguous shit aint cute. thats all im saying.
i read alot of stuff that says enjoy the now, and i try. but lord KNOWS i dont wanna be 40 and getting married. im still young, and exciting, and spontaneous. i dont want to spend these years lonely. smh. its hard dealing with loneliness sometimes.

Good Morning

so i'm taking my laptop to work today, because i have some things i want to work on. i decided about two weeks ago i want to write a book, and i actually do....at first i was thinking a book of erotica, cuz i've actually been writing it since i was in high school. i didnt even KNOW there was a genre until i was like a senior in high school and my sis gave me "Nervous" by Zane....which changed my life, lol. But also, with this change, and not having sex, i've also been thinking about how i've gotten where i am, when it comes to love, and it kinda makes me want to write a memoir, about "all the boys that i thought i loved before"....shoutout Keri Hilson, lol.
i went to see Friends With Benefits on friday, and it was really good, altho Mila Kunis reminded me of me. She was one of those hopeless ass romantics, but she had been hurt so many times, that she was like "fuck this," even though she really wanted someone to love her. it made me want to write about love, and how i feel about all that jazz, too. i want to write alot, but everytime i have inspiration, i dont have the chance to use my laptop. so today, im gonna do what i want to do, and get some of it out. so thats it for now, time for me to get all my food stuffs cooked, and me and the mini me ready for the day..

\(^__^)/

see i almost let that shit stress me out and i forgot to celebrate that its AUGUST!! whoop whoop....my birth month! its all about LEO!

Black Love

i totally have this picture in my room.

grrrr

hey everyone! just got back from work and i spent it reading and taking calls. same ol, same ol. im sitting here catching up on my teen wolf episode and im all into. lol. i love this show. first off (paging chris hansen lol) the main character is sooo hot. actually all the main dudes are lol. take a gander....

im like so emotionally invested in this show. its been awhile since i had something to get emotionally invested about and i really get all into it lol. its hard being a single mom. a YOUNG one. my life revolves around work, and my son, and maaaan. thats it. i havent been out in a long time. it doesnt bother me too much, but sometimes i would like to get some time to myself to enjoy books and just veg out, listen to music. maaaan life really changes when you have a whole other person to take care of. i love my son tho. hes my world. life is incredibly hard, but giving my child joy and seeing him smile makes it worth it. 

i know i kinda changed subjects in the middle of that post, but im watching the show and like i said, im all in it, so new post, new subject. 

Hey Guys

welcome to my new blog. i've been saying for weeks that i was going to start a new anonymous blog, cuz i've been needing a place to vent, and twitter and facebook are too easy to get a girl in trouble, so. here i am. so i guess this is my introduction post, incase anyone ever decides to find and read this.
i decided to name my blog "Mad Afro Mama," cuz i'm a single parent to a toddler, and an afro/all natural advocate. As much, the mad is coming from the fact that i'm sure i will be bitching a wee bit cuz i have no other place, and everyone needs somewhere to vent lol. if anything else comes from this, then so be it. i may post recipes, and the many adventures i might have with my mini me as well.
if the time comes, i might post pictures of the wee one, but that depends. this blog is for me to vent, not to step on any toes, so hopefully it doesn't ever come to that. lol.
thats about it for my first post, i'm sure i'll be back soon.